


(They Call Me) Loverboy

by Atomics



Category: DC Comics, Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Team Dynamics, at times - Freeform, heavier subject matter, hints of timkon, maybe more than hints later on we'll see, naive and still figuring things out kon, sort of a character reflection, sort of mix between comics and animated show, struggling with concepts of self, team young justice, this is going to be a bit darker, will be adding tags and relationships along the way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:01:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16311776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atomics/pseuds/Atomics
Summary: “One’s initial thoughts and reactions are often parallel to the subconscious inner voice one’s parents built for them. Whereas the next conclusions are born of one’s own self.”It was just over 3 months ago when the newly forming Team Young Justice busted an off-the-books Cadmus operation, uncovering and rescuing their now teammate Superboy.Grown in a lab with implanted knowledge of things he's never experienced, Kon is now facing and figuring out the world and his place in it. Discovering what it is and means to be alive, to be a hero, and perhaps the most difficult question, what and who he truly is.





	1. Chapter 1

He sat in the deep, dark depths of Mount Justice. Being well, being dramatic and bored in his own personal narration. A bubbling sensation that was quickly tumbling towards frustration. Kon had been consciously, what he considered alive, for three months, 13 days, 17 hours and 15 no 16 and counting seconds. 

He knew he was different from his team. Sure they were all a bit different, but his was glaring obvious. _I’m better. I’m Superboy._ It was the first thought in his head. But the second confused and kinda hurt. _No. You’re not Better. You’re just alone. Too dangerous to just be out there._

Mind oh so helpfully bringing up a paper he’d read over Rob’s shoulder once. _“One’s initial thoughts and reactions are often parallel to the subconscious inner voice one’s parents built for them. Whereas the next conclusions are born of one’s own self.”_ But well, that was dumb and horseshit. Kon didn’t have any parents so it didn't make sense. It hadn’t calculated for an existence like his own. His current situation a glaring reflection of that. 

Sitting alone in the team base, the closest thing he has, has ever had to a home outside of surreal and discolored memories of a tank, a growing tube. Hazy world seen through tinted green fluid, some white coats and faces he didn’t know the names of. 

Everyone else of team Young Justice was out with their families or their mentors. Living their other lives. And him? Well Superboy sat alone, idly tossing pieces of popcorn up and into his mouth. Wondering if he even could gain weight if he tried. _Did his body work like that?_ He didn’t think so. If maybe the number he had for Superman was wrong and that’s why he never responds. But it couldn’t be, Robin had pulled it from Batman’s files personally for him. Heck, he’d even watched Tim do it. 

And still, here he sat, 27 sent messages. No replies. Cold popcorn and a creaking mountain base for company. _I don’t need parents anyways, or even Superman. I’m a hero. I’m Superboy._ He caught another piece in his mouth and listened. Groans of wind, hum of industrial lights, the static rippled sounds of the T.V. on in Red T’s room. 

He wasn’t supposed to go out for hero business or like anything solo. _They don’t trust you because they know they can’t control you. Powerful and awesome._ No, it’s because we’re a team and i’m just new...ish. Nah, ya know what.. He tossed the bowl down and grabbed his gloves. TTK lifting him off the cavern like floor and through halls towards the nearest exit. 

He was Superboy. And he could go be a hero with or without anyone. Didn’t have to just sit here waiting while they had all the fun. _I can do whatever I want._

  


It was hardly an hour later before Superboy found himself in an arcade. Large Gulp cherry slushie perched on one machine as he sucked at a lollipop, blasting asteroids and aliens with another. He liked these. The patterns and controls of the game clicked easily and soon, Kon found himself whooping and hollering his way to the leaderboard. 

The neon and black light combo paired with blacked out windows didn’t do much in help for telling the time. Sure it must have been by design, but for the first time in his memory, Kon lost track of the minutes, the seconds and hours. A self satisfied hum and shrug when the once initial speckled leaderboard just read “KON” over and over again. And then he was just playing to top himself, and then it got boring. 

But he didn't want to just leave. Didn’t have anywhere else to go. So Kon just used the team card again, gathering more tokens and pizza-nachos, started in on the next one. This game revolving around a ball, little knobs, switches and tunnels and lots of glowing lights, exciting buzz of noises. 

Watch where it hits, bounces, exertion from springs. He started feeling for where the ball was gonna go, how it would move and the pin-pall box react. And every miscalculation just had him giggling, bouncing red accented boots against tacky carpeted floor. The whole aesthetic of this place and moment weirdly fitting in with Superboy’s frankly, super-cool superhero garb. 

Although amidst the whirling play of lights and chimes of games, there was one thing that didn’t make sense and couldn’t click for him. _How was this place so empty?? It was totally Awesome??_

It was another undisclosed amount of minutes or hours later until there was a hand on his shoulder and a “Sorry kid, closing time.” had Kon blinking and turning with a frown. The friendly, if un-put together worker almost looked sad. 

“I’m not a kid. I’m a Superhero.” 

“Yea, yea sure thing. Hey, feel free ta come back again tomorrow, i need business like this. But i also gotta lock up and head home, Super-hero.” 

“It’s Super _boy.”_ And yet he weirdly felt like a kicked super-puppy. 

All the guy did was lift rounded hands up with an air of nonchalance, but no framing of superiority. A gesture Superboy found almost interesting as his brain did what it usually did. Supply words for actions he hadn’t been aware he knew the definitions of. Well that is, until he thought about them.

“Superboy it is. We open at 11, same spot, all weekend.” 

Kon just huffed and nodded. Lightly colored eyes looking up at this man. “Can I take some gummy worms to-go though?” 

“You got more money?” And well to that, he just gave over a big grin and the card again. Shimmy in his step as went to go pick out snacks. These ones were _so_ much better than what they kept at the Base. 

\--

Atop one of Metropolis’ trademark shining sky-scrapers he sat. Legs and boots dangling off the edge as he worked his way through the large bag of gummies. Watching the stars and just sorta listening. The life and ruckus of city of Tomorrow. Moving about like they were still preparing for that tomorrow even this late at night. Cars and the subways, conversations, arguments, television sets left on or idle. 

He couldn’t hear the whole world, but in the thick of Metropolis like this, he could hear enough that it felt like it. Like this here, this could be _his_ whole world. 

Everyone was really out there. Moving and living and talking on their phones. Sleeping and… and _not_ sleeping. Little smirk on Superboy’s face as he debated the ethics of looking away from the stars and in that particular... _non-sleeping_ direction. Except again, he knew those words and the definitions, but he didn’t really get what they meant. Already leaning forward as he honed in towards the sounds and mouth dropping open. 

_Oh. O h. They were full naked and she’s doing what to his-- huh. Must feel real good._ Shoving in another mouthful of candy and feeling himself heat up in… weird ways. That is, before the buzz and beep of his team communicator made Kon half jump up in the air. Losing the focus on that particular apartment and fumbling back for the little device. 

_‘Back to Base. Now.’_

A frown and a pout. He slipped the team communicator back into a pouch with a sigh. Letting himself slip off the edge of the towering reflective building without much more thought. If he was lucky, maybe they had a new mission. 

\---

Superboy was scanned and allowed access back into the Mountain Base. Sliding red shades back up into his hair and grinning at the sight of a rather scowly Robin. 

“Timbo! What’s up, we got a mission?” Glancing around even though he didn’t sense anyone else around really. Maybe it was for the affect. “Where is everyone? Just you and me, the new new and improved dynamic duo?” 

…. Still just met with a scowl. 

Superboy looked at Robin. Robin looked at Superboy. Superboy was about to say this feels weird. But Robin beat him to the speaking punch. 

“No, there’s no mission, Superboy. _Why the hell_ were you using _the team finance card_ at-” Green glove coming up and rubbing against the latest boy wonder’s face. “at Regi’s Arcade-a-rama??’” 

Tired sort of disappointment weirdly stung. Even as Kon widened his eyes and stepped forward, hands up pacifying to his friend. “Woah woah, Timmy chill out. It was just-” 

“No! It wasn’t just _whatever_ dude. You can’t just do stuff like that! You can _not_ use team finances for this kinda crap, Kon.” Now he felt his face heat, that bubble of anger. 

“Well what the hell am I supposed to use then, _Robin,_ huh? I don’t have any money of my own or a rich bat-furry bankroller! Don’t be such a lame _jerk.”_

“I don’t know but when _you_ do shit like this, _i’m_ the one Batman yells at! So don’t do it again or i’ll just send the big brute _your_ way instead. Come on, you spend over 400 dollars at an _arcade!”_

“I don't even know what that means!!” 

_“It means stop.”_ Tim now close up in his face for that last line before huffing and stomping off. And Superboy could still hear him grumbling about Batman and ‘dumb lectures’ the whole way to the computer labs two floors down. 

Only when he heard those last doors shift closed was Kon letting out a breath and kicking at part of the stone and metal wall. Once and then twice. The sound of impacts reverberating through this section and more of the Base. Little crumbles of crud tumbling down and indented chunk hollowed out and left behind as Superboy stormed right back out of this lame, loser base. 

_I thought we were friends._

\--

It was all bullshit. Kon had to focus more effort than it should have taken to get him up here. This time plopped atop a bridge that sprawled over water. And now, it let him watch the stars sparkle and billow amongst slow moving waves instead of blanketed by the black expanse of space. The way they glew against the water almost made them look trapped. Stuck in perceptions. 

Gaze flickering to the way that stupid, team card shimmered and twisted in his grasp, it too, dangling over the edge. Just looking at it made that heat of exasperation flare right back up. Kon’s hand nearly clenching before he just flicked and let the plastic skyrocket back down into the water. The ripples momentarily freeing the cosmos from the imagined prison, but Kon just wished it made him feel better too. Arms hoisting back up and crossing on the platform he lay on, head pressing into them. He didn’t want to look at the stars anymore. He didn’t want to listen to the city and the people and traffic. He just wanted it all to _make sense._

Trying to keep his focus inwards. His own breathing and heart rate. The closed off little world he was creating up here, hidden in his own arms. That is, until the familiar, the memorized, steady and strong sound could be heard, flying, hovering up nearby. And Superboy swallowed and lifted his head.

The fluttering red of Superman’s cape and glint of shine on the sigil for hope. For a moment, he felt it. Hope. Kon shifted more, to make space or to try to go to _him,_ he wasn’t sure. But that hope was gone and sinking just as quick when the hero, the hero that was supposed to be _his_ hero quickly turned his face away before eye contact could be made. A booming noise as Superman took off through the air far quicker than he could ever follow. 

Left, stuck someplace between the stars and waves. He really did feel alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yea, still not dead yet and yep still writing this bad boy out. I promise we're gonna get to the meat of things here soon okay. 
> 
> Anywho, if you're reading this, hope you enjoy it !

It was almost stupid how quickly things went back to normal, or well ‘normal’. He didn’t really _have_ a normal. Just this. The team and missions and oh so quietly saving the day. Seemed like _all_ his missions and jobs were ‘incognito’ or undercover and frankly, Superboy was starting to really hate it. Where was the pizazz! The reward or man even _fun._ But nope. 

Just coming back to the base. Taking a shower. Idly chatting or well listening to team members chat. Pizza rolls, another mission. A shower. The tile on the way and the hollow spaces of the mountain behind it. Sparring with Black Canary and then right back out again on another recon mission, wearing the incognito suit, being quiet and hidden and like he didn’t even exist. Just gathering intel for the _real_ heroes. 

Superboy slammed his fists all the harder into the simulation bots. Robotic pieces and wires going flying with a spark and a sigh from the control room. “Why don’t we take a break, Superboy.” 

He just huffed and nodded. It had only been like two weeks since Robin had been such a _jerk._ But that’s a big hunk of time when you’ve only been alive for four months. And things still felt sorta.. weird between them. He didn’t know how to make it just go back to normal. Shaking some bits of metal and programmed goo-gunk out of his hair before rolling his head up and studying the ceiling. The lead lining in this section was irritating. Or maybe he was just projecting frustrations or whatever mumbo jumbo Cassie was always spouting off. He didn’t know! All he knew was that something was missing. That Tim was a jerk. And Batman a broody jerk and that _he,_ he was meant for something _more._

Brushing Bart’s excited controller invite away, Kon took off again instead. Headed for the exit, he wanted to feel the sun again. Hear nature, the city and people or _something,_ maybe save a cat out of a tree. He just-- he still didn’t know. Just felt ...bad. 

And Kon was sick of feeling _bad_ for such large quantities of his lifespan. Sick of missing pieces and emotions he couldn’t complete with any words. 

\----

Clark sighed. “I just don’t know what you expect me to do about it.” A sentiment only met with the ever-narrowing eyes of Batman. So Clark just shoved down the urge to roll his own eyes, leaning gently against the monitor setup here in the Hall. “If he wants to go pull cats out of trees and smile at cameras i’m not sure how i’m supposed to stop him, Batman.” A careful title because Bruce was very particular about names in costume. Especially in a backdrop like this. When was the last time they actually met up in the Hall of Justice anyways? _Something about a layover for something, maybe that trip to Qurac.._

“You could _talk to him_...Clark-” The way Bruce said his name, soft, tired.. sincere “--he needs someone. He needs Superman.” paired with the meaningful motion towards the House of El symbol Clark bore was almost enough that Clark didn’t dwell on how using the correct titles and names was only necessary when Batman decided it was. 

Though his mind stuck on the red, blue and yellow. _Hope_. His house sigil. One of his only connections to the people of his birth… and the same one that this...clone had really taken to wearing. He couldn’t help but shuffle some. Clark hated how uncomfortable this all made him. Knew it wasn’t fair. But what part of it _was_ fair? He didn’t..he didn’t ask for this. 

But being uncomfortable didn’t make this conversation over, no matter how much he wanted it to be. Maybe it would be easier if he could get Bruce to understand.. 

“I.. I know what you’re thinking. The connections you’re making.” Found himself pacing. “But you ran the tests _yourself._ The connection, how this thing was made. Cadmus and Luthor. How am I supposed to approach this when I don’t even know what it should really mean. If he’ll ever just-” Clark stopped mid-step. Stomach dropping and voice lowering. _“He’s here. I- I have to go.”_

“Super-” But Bruce’s warning to stay was too little too late, or maybe it wasn’t meant for him. Wasn’t a plea to stay, but a call to the other one. The clone. But either way, he didn’t stick around to find out. Speeding up and kicking himself all the more when he still saw the self-proclaimed Superboy standing, heart-rate spiked outside the Hall. 

Well… it hadn’t been _his_ idea to keep it from the kid. This wasn’t his mess to clean. 

\----

Kon watched Superman just fly off. Like Always. Swallowed something..weird down before refocusing. Moving quick before Batman too, had a chance to just bolt. No. He deserved some damn answers. 

Didn’t even have to try and push or muscle his way in through doors. Batman was waiting for him with a brisk. “What did you hear.” 

To that, Kon just puffed his chest out a little. “Enough.” See? Two could play at those stupid information-keeping games. “I knew you guys didn’t really trust me. All because why? Because i was made in a lab? Busted out of Cadmus? Well boo-hoo get over it! If I have to live with it, so do you guys!” 

_“Superboy..”_

“No! Don’t you Superboy me. Where is _he_ huh? Superman can’t just avoid me forever! You two are such good buddies, yet you’re what too pussy-shit to tell him to cut the weird crap? Or-” _oh god._ And wasn’t it telling in his own naivety, his own stupid hopefulness that his stomach actually dropped with the realization. With the dots connecting. And if the small way Batman’s eyes widened through that cowl meant anything, it must have shown on his face. “you… you agree with him. You don’t think I can be trusted either.” 

He couldn’t believe this, except it all made sense. So maybe he just didn’t _want_ to believe it. But it was written all over the room, in the air around them, in the absence of Superman, in all of it. The undercover missions, arms distance, everything. Kon just.. He didn’t understand _why._ Why couldn’t they just accept him? How had he not proven himself good enough by now? The young super could feel himself nearly shaking but it - it didn’t quite feel like anger anymore. 

And so now here he was. Staring down a man dressed as a giant stupid _Bat,_ waiting for him to say something. Anything. But all that happened was Kon’s vision blurring. Looking away as he wiped at his cheek with a gloved hand. Trying to place what it was he felt. _Sorrow._ “Yea.. that’s- It’s whatever.” 

He took back off again in a flurry of movement. It didn’t matter whatever else Batman had to say, if he would have said anything. Which he didn’t. And there was nothing left for him there. The ‘World’s Finest’ duo made sure to finally get that across. 

Superboy was about halfway back to the only familiar place he really had, when another name he remembered hearing hit him again. Luthor. Like.. Lexcorp Lex Luthor? He couldn’t think of any other Luthors he knew of. Had seen that name around everywhere. Frowning and doing his best to pull himself back together, ignore the icy chill of the wind against a wet streaked face as he tracked down Tim. 

Having to divert from Mount Justice towards some empty feeling house outside the city. TTK opening the door before his hands could even think about it. Kon still felt just - so much. Too much. His friend’s furrowed expression at his bursting in didn’t have time to fester and set before, in true Superboy fashion, he blurted out. 

_“Tell me everything we know about Lex Luthor.”_

\----

Kon looked up at the giant grey building. Felt weird that his best place for answers was here. A concrete, steel and other metals unknown, super-prison. He couldn’t even see the inside of it. But Rob- _Tim_ had promised this would work. That he’d hacked the access codes and his Zeta scan would bypass. 

Soo.. here goes nothing. Moving to the back alley ‘Heroes Entrance’ and stepping into the seemingly broken down booth. The light picking up on his presence inside and scanning before a mechanical voice chimed out the hollow “Recognized : Superboy, B04”. 

Somehow, he was still nearly surprised to see the secret hatch open. Surprised, or maybe anxious. This was it. Stepping into the weird light and out of the Hero Access door inside. _It really was just that easy._ Silent thank you to Tim as he strode in towards the front desk. Or at least what must translate to a sort of front desk. 

It was a decent walk over to it, plenty of time to hear as one of the men on duty sigh, the under-his-breath _‘They never schedule ahead like they're supposed to. Self entitled capes.’_ Roll with it, least it meant he wasn’t the only one to just up and visit like this. But really what felt the weirdest was how small he felt compared to this big block of desk or whatever. 

Using some TTK to float him up and make up some height with the guys before Superboy cleared his throat. Doing his best to sound Official and like he was Totally Supposed To Be Here. “Uh- yea i’m here to- No. I _need_ to see Lex Luthor.” Leaning in to emphasize his point. That one way or another he was going to meet with Luthor. It was all about confidence. And he’s come too far to turn back now.

The guards up there just rolled their eyes. “Yea alright just fill this out first and a guard will take you back, okay? Don’t skip any more steps it makes the paperwork a bitch, super-kid.” 

“Super _boy.”_ He’d blurted it out as a correction before Kon even realized what he was doing. 

But the men back there didn’t even blink. Just shoved a clipboard towards him. “Just write it on the line.” 

Huh. Easy peasy. Printing his name, a quick snappy signature then Luthor’s name. Filling out his purpose for visit as ‘recon’ before handing it back. Noticing the shuffle of some guards opening one of the giant doors to his right and nodding. The Superboy watched with a shrug and offhanded “Cool” before heading over easily and being lead down the corridor. 

Most of the walls he couldn’t see through, but there was plenty to hear. From electrical currents to running water and some spots just.. voids of air. This place was weird, like creepy weird. Finally coming across a pad and scanner locked door. One of the three decked out guards punching in a number then leaning in for an eye scan before not one, but five different layers of metal opened up, each towards different directions. _Ominous much._

But what was inside was even.. more unnerving. It was just a big room, a big room with a smaller, clear-cased room in the center. Kon was pretty sure he’s seen something just like this in a movie once. Downtime at the base, Bart slurping down sour string candy. Seeing it in person felt.. excessive. At least for just a guy. Even if he was a reported criminal mastermind. Lex Luthor was only human. A human standing there, garbed in bright orange and seeming taller than expected when Kon stepped up to the glass. 

There was a pause between them. Heavy and palpable. Had Superboy swallowing and wondering if this is what everyone felt when they met Luthor. Maybe all the precautions made sense.But something lit up in those green..almost familiar eyes when Luthor turned and caught sight of him. 

“I had really hoped that this day would come, and now.. here you are.” 

Even that voice wasn’t as Kon had imagined it would be. Somehow deeper and more cocky. As if he knew all the secrets of the world. But it was the undertone that made him hesitate, a soft almost kindness behind it all that didn’t match the scene. 

Superboy just steeled himself, stepping even closer and ignoring the way it made all the guards shuffle behind him. Their heart rates flickering with an increase. It didn’t stop him. No, the Superboy didn’t stop until he was right in front of the glass. Thick clear wall and a few feet of space all that stood between him and the prisoner that brought even Superman to pause. 

“Cadmus Labs. _You_ founded it. _You’re_ the one who authorized my creation. Now I want answers. Tell me why.” _Why am I here? What’s my purpose?_ The Justice League thought it was to be a secret weapon, sleeper agent maybe? He wasn’t sure. 

The way the man, _the criminal, look he’s in prison,_ smiled almost unnerved something in Kon. Almost brought doubts into his choice in going about these answers. “They don’t know you’re here. You came to me all on your own.” A hand came up to rest over Luthor’s heart..as if he were..touched? Happy that Superboy had come, and it only made Kon’s face scrunch all the more. The feeling of there being layers here he didn’t understand all the more prevalent. But the man wasn’t done talking. 

“You look well, _strong.”_ Relief, that’s what he saw. And Luthor had moved as forward as he could towards him. The hand that was over Lex’s heart moved to press against the glass. “I was so worried, son.” 

Kon blinked. _“Why..”_ just then the doors behind him were entirely ripped open, but he didn’t look back. Didn’t care. He was close to something here. _Answers._ His own hand reaching forward as well, towards the palm pressed against the glass. Fingers hovering curiously but not quite moving that last inch to touch.

“They never told you? Of course they wouldn’t.” Tone almost biting and he saw Luthor’s gaze flick behind him. 

“Told me _what?!”_ Kon demanded, desperate to get the attention back, the answers he came for. 

_“That’s enough Luthor.”_ Naturally it was Superman’s voice. Of course he came now, of all times. 

But Superman’s sudden interruption, the panicking of the guards and sudden deep red lights didn’t seem to phase or cause Lex to hesitate at all. If anything, he only seemed to be enjoying himself all the more. “I didn’t _authorize_ you, Conner. I _made_ you. You’re not just some clone or whatever sorry story they spun. You’re _my son.”_

“I said ENOUGH!” The voice boomed and echoed and suddenly Kon was being yanked back. Wide eyed and in disbelief. Or shock. 

_‘Superboy we’re leaving now.’_ Batman was all but throwing him out of there and the next thing Kon saw was Tim. Suited up as Robin, meeting him in the hall. There was a lot of noise but all he could process was the loud white buzzing in his brain like static, echoing with Luthor’s words. _You’re my son. -Conner. I made you. You’re my son._ The far away sound of Tim’s voice now. “Come on, lets go” But Robin wasn’t upset at all. Was barely concealing a grin against the ruckus inside the cell as Batman dealt with Superman. A red and blue blur zipping out around them. 

Jogging out, hand in hand with Tim. But there wasn’t time to appreciate the friendship seemingly repaired. How could any of this possibly make sense. _You’re not just some clone._


End file.
